There Is No Worse Feeling Than When Your Child Is Sick

I have been having quite the difficult past two weeks here at home, which is a big reason for the lack of new posts. Just when I found the perfect balance for getting everything done, of course life has to swing another way and keep me on my toes. It’s been a few weeks of stress, anxiety, super fatigue and inability to get everything off my to-do list.

It’s been exhausting and I am still waiting for the end in sight.

15 days ago Bean complained in the morning that her neck hurt. I didn’t think too much of it because she didn’t really make a stink out of it, but she mentioned it. Later that evening she developed a fever. Kids get sick all the time so I didn’t really think too much of it — I don’t worry about fevers and don’t rush the kids to the doctor right away. I was confident it would go away in a few days, like fevers do.

A few days passed and her fever wasn’t going anywhere & I noticed a new symptom — a swollen lymph node in her neck. I know that happens when kids are fighting infection so again, I didn’t think too much of it until I realized she wasn’t moving her neck.  Then I started to worry that it could be something scary or she could have a big infection in her tonsils, throat, ears — something that may require antibiotics.

I booked an appointment with her doctor a week after her fever started, last Monday.

Her ears were clear, no strep, no other swollen lymph nodes, nothing wrong with her tonsils. We weren’t entirely sure what so we and the doctor decided it would be best to treat with a broad antibiotic so that anything bacterial would be cleared out, with instructions that if there was no improvement after the course that we would do an ultrasound and blood work.

After some trouble with her antibiotic — calling to switch to a new one — it’s been the full course of treatment as of today and Bean is not any better. She still has her fever, she still has this HUGE lump on her neck. She has little interest in eating, playing and has lost weight and looks pale. She has another doctor appointment tomorrow morning and I am scared because I have never had a bug last this long. I am hoping still it’s just viral/bacterial and not any of the other scarier options — but mostly I just feel like shit.

Bean feels like shit and there is little comfort I can really offer her. I have had to force her to take medicine, I am holding her in my arms nearly all moments of the day and night and I just want my happy babe back. We are both tired, both exhausted really and I just feel so helpless. It’s the first time she’s really been sick. Before this, the longest she had a fever for was about 2 days — and we’re heading into day 16.

Please keep your fingers crossed for us that she starts to feel better soon. The poor thing is so tired.