Becoming a parent is one of the most exciting times in life. A life change that rocks your world in the most amazing way. It’s certainly not easy and there will be challenges, but as I am sure I don’t need to tell you — it is totally worth every moment. We all hear about those awesome moments that happen the moment your child is in your arms.
There are some things about new parenting that you might not read in a parenting book — you know, the sh*t people wont tell you before you have your child. I break the silence for you and let the ‘cat out of the bag’ on some insider parenting info:
1. You will have to wipe your kids butt even when they are out of diapers
2. There is a time in the toddler years where you child will not think twice about playing in their poop.
3. A quiet child usually means a disaster is being made — go look. NOW!
4. You can act honestly drunk from lack of sleep. You will feel really drunk too.
5. Everyone will have an opinion on everything you do — everything. Ignore most of them.
6. Right after giving birth — your stomach will feel like goo. Brace yourself. I was not prepared.
7. Kids don’t shut the door when they do learn to use the toilet — get used to it.
8. You will never poop alone — you won’t get used to that.
9. Catching vomit mid-air will not faze you and you will eventually do that.
10. Showering can feel like winning the gold at the Olympics some days — celebrate it.
11. You will leave the house (once or twice) without knowing you have sh*t on you somewhere people can see — no one will tell you.
12. Cold coffee will become the new norm — make sure you have a microwave.
13. People will buy your kids glitter and noisy toys just to see you squirm – get back at them when their time comes.
14. You might not automatically fall in love with your child. Doesn’t happen for everyone & that is okay. Takes time to get to know each other.
15. When your kids are away from you — the lack of noise will feel deafening — awesome but deafening.
:: What would you add to the list for parents-to-be? ::
| check out today’s post on Kid Scoop Blog:12 Questions Every Parent Dreads Being Asked |
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
We have actually had to ask people not to buy really noisy toys as we believe Kam has had a couple of seizures as a result of noisy toys that we have now made disappear!
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
January 25, 2012 at 12:44 pm
I am glad that you’ve figured out what was bugging him! [i get mini seizures from flashing lights... it's "fun" when the kids do it on purpose...]
oh and the vomit catch…I never thought I had it in me but somehow it is different with your own children:0)
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
January 25, 2012 at 12:45 pm
right — i could NEVER do it for anyone else… not even me.
Twitter: daddyrunsalot
January 24, 2012 at 3:14 pm
I’m not looking forward to the butt-wiping. And I’ve gotten very strange stares from passers-by as I went to the grocery store in a black shirt, covered in white stains (they were spit-up, but, well, I’m a guy).
And I’ve actually thrown myself into the path of projectile vomit, because I was afraid that the remote control might be covered.
John recently posted..Where the topics I write about range from bacon to zombies to Strawberry Shortcake.
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
January 25, 2012 at 12:46 pm
HAHAHAHAHA – John you’re killing me.. yeah you would get strange looks.
& i think a lot of us can relate to catching the vomit to save something else. I do that for my sons ‘bebe’ {his blanket that he can not sleep without} just so i didnt’ have to be up with him while i was washing it.
Getting those flushable wet wipes worked for us and our older son has been responsible for his own butt-wiping with great success since two and a half. Hoping saying that won’t bite me in the butt with his younger brother or beyond…
Wiley recently posted..Sense of impending doom, lifted!
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
January 25, 2012 at 12:46 pm
Oh good tip Wiley. I hope it doesn’t come back on you too
Twitter: mytimeasmom
January 25, 2012 at 7:40 pm
That quiet time gets me every time. Whenever I start to enjoy the quiet I remember that most likely my kid is destroying something.
Jessica recently posted..Kauai In Pictures
Oh yes… and #11 You never knew how many times you could/would use the word “poop”.
Did you poop?
Do you need to poop?
Does it hurt to poop?
Can you poop?
It smells like poop!
Great list!
Tonya recently posted..I’m Jealous Of My Son
I found your blog on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope. I am very sorry for your losses. I too lost my baby, Lily Katherine, who was stillborn at fullterm on March 16, 2010. Although I wish nobody else had to know this pain, it’s good to know I’m not alone and there are people who “get it.” I’d love to have you follow along on my blog as well: http://www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com
Blessings, Hannah Rose
Haha! The “you will never poop alone” got me! Nobody warned me about that one! lol Though I’d rather her be in there with me instead of having to hear banging on the door & screaming “mom”…. “mom”….. “mom”….. “mom”…….