I have been a stay at home / work from home mom for over 5 years now. I began this new career when very early pregnant with Big P & was put on bed rest & have been in this position since. Adding on to the responsibilities over the years includes 2 more children, 2 work from home businesses and a husband who works 50 hours a week outside the house and easily another 15-20 hours a week from home.
That is busy.
Something I have very much struggled with over these past five years is how to hold on to me. How to hold on to the Devan behind the mom, the wife, the friend and the sister. & when i say i have struggled with it – i mean it. I had lost myself, my voice, my passions, my being and my happiness was suffering from it.
There was no one to blame for it but myself. My husband is supportive, my family is supportive but i had this (& admit still do to an extent) unrealistic expectation that i needed to do everything for everyone else before i could think of me. & that time never came.
That was unfair.
I learned a pretty hard lesson about motherhood, marriage and life. Continuing to put me at the end of the never-ending list was depriving my husband of the woman he married. It deprived my kids of the mom they deserved & it deprived me from the self-care that everyone requires and deserves.
Time is not selfish.
I am still working on finding a balance. i don’t need it to be perfect but i do need to work on allowing myself some space, some adult conversation or just to sit in a quiet, non-chaos state. Right now i have a weekly date with my sister and mom for one night a week – just a few hours to get away and girl talk. i also try to make time for a run 3 nights a week and time with my husband is on my to-work-on list as well.
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