For today’s guest post we are still continuing on with the infant feeding topic. Today is a bit different because instead of featuring a Mama that breastfed, we have a Mama sharing her story on why she didn’t breastfeed and why formula was the choice for her family. Today we are welcoming Blair from Heir to Blair as she shares her story in her own words:
*————————————————-*
We formula feed, aka POUR RAT POISON DOWN OUR CHILD’S THROAT EVERY DAY. ::enter maniacal laughter::
Good. Now that we got that bullshit out of the way, Hi, I’m Blair & I formula feed my baby. By choice.
Going into pregnancy & motherhood, I always planned to formula feed since I had a breast reduction in Fall 2007. It was simply a fact that my chances of lactating were slim, so it didn’t surprise me that I didn’t even get a squeeze of colostrum until almost two weeks postpartum.
Secret side note: I still hoped that I would miraculously turn into a cow & be able to nurse an entire village after delivery. But no dice.
Anyway. BACK TO BOTTLES OF POISON. Formula feeding has been so easy. Sometimes, I literally cringe at the breastfeeding stories I hear & if my nipples still had sensation, they would hurt for you. Because from the beginning, it’s been a simple shake & serve for us.
I know you can be mildly jealous of the perks formula feeding has, even if you are a Lactation Nazi. Because while i will never deny that ‘breast is best,” I will certainly never deny the benefits of formula feeding for our family.
- I never have to worry about modesty, nursing in public, or being kicked out of the local Target for feeding my child.
- I can wear dresses with ease.
- I have never felt like this:
- I have never spontaneously dripped milk down my silk blouse. Granted, I’ve SPILLED because I’m a sloppy feeder. But never DRIPPED.
- My husband can feed him just as easily as I can.
- Which translates into, my husband can take NIGHT DUTY. As can my mother, sister, dog, & neighbor’s second cousin twice removed so that I can sleep.
Yep, benefits!! Love them. & so I proudly sport my Munchkin formula dispenser with pride, despite some dirty looks from “wanna-be La Leche Leeches”. Because at the end of the day, I’m feeding my baby. & I’m simply PRO-FEED YOUR BABY at this point in my life.
But Coke versus Pepsi? Now that is something to get worked up about.
:: Did you have negative experiences with “pro-breast feeders” that turned you off?::
*——————————*
I want to extend a thank you to Blair from Heir to Blair for sharing why formula was the right choice for her family. LOVE her and love her site so be sure to check her out and say HELLO.
I would also like to add that if you have had a breast reduction surgery or nipple surgery and wish to breastfeed – please check out BFAR for resources and support.
Top Mommy Blogs – Vote for us @ TopMommyBlogs.Com!
There are currently
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Pro Feeding your child right here Momma! We BF for 8 weeks or so – and it just didn't work. I wish I would have known about all you amazing ladies – I'm certain I would have been able to find the support and answers I needed – kind of makes me sad sometimes though. It's crazy, but I still get a shot of shame every time I pull out that Munchkin dispenser. I feel like people are judging me.
Blair, Coke or Pepsi? Now I need to know… or is this a post of it's own?
Great post! I breastfed- even extended breastfed my kids, but I always saw it as a personal choice and was the first to say that if my supply hadn't been crazy-productive or if I had had to exclusively pump, I would have quit.
Babies need fed. Period.
Great post! Formula was right for us too, and my kids have done just fine with that "rat poison". I agree…babies just need to be fed.
First, Coke wins hands down.
Second, I was one of those critical anti-formula people while I was pregnant. Someone would tell me that they couldn't breastfeed for one reason or another and I would get all angry inside. I didn't understand my strong reaction until it occurred to me that maybe I was afraid that I would be them when S was born. Since having S and going to a weekly mom's group I have gotten to know several women that just couldn't breastfeed for one reason or another…mostly due to lack of supply. I see how much they struggle with that "decision" (in quotes because it really wasn't a decision since they were all pro-feeding their baby too). Anyway, I guess this is my long winded answer to say that I get it. Thanks for sharing your story!
Ok so I am a breastfeeder and my son is now almost 5 months. I didn't BF my 2 older children and while I love my current choice and will stick with it, let me be the 1st to say "Yep I'm totally jealous of all those things BlaIr mentioned" I remember the ease of formula and there were several times when it sucked in the beginning that I would have happily went the formula route had it been on hand. However I'm completely in love with breastfeeding my little bee now but I totally get why some ppl choose not to and understand why some ppl can't. Kudos to everyone that's keeping their babies fed regardless of how
During my pregnancy, I just knew that BF was the route I would go with Mungee. My goal was 6 months. I made that goal and am still BF at almost 10 months. I was very tempted to quit in the beginning, but I think my drive to continue stemmed from the determination that I was going to succeed at it since I didn't succeed at having the natural birth that I wanted. I felt like if I could BF that it would compensate for the fact that I failed at the natural birth.
I do constantly remind myself that while BF is the choice I made, I must be entirely respectful of others' choice/non-choice to FF. The most important thing is obviously that our babies be nutrified. (I just made that up, I think
I just want to say to any women contemplating breastfeeding after breast reduction surgery that much of it comes down to defining your own success.
For Blair success was choosing to formula feed with a bottle.
For me feeding my child at the breast was the only option. If my own milk came in and was in sufficient supply to feed my son then great, if not I had planned to use an at the breast supplementation system.
It turned out that I didn't need any of that, even though my surgery had been major and my breasts reduced in size by more than half, I am able to breastfeed exclusively.
I am so incredibly thankful that I gave myself the chance to breastfeed.
Please, if you have had breast surgery, are pregnant, and breastfeeding is important to you, you are no doubt feeling a little hopeless about all of the negative information. GO TO THE BFAR SITE linked at the bottom of the post, when I found it at 6 months pregnant I cried tears of relief and joy!
Yes! Thank you for posting this story! I breastfed my daughter for a few weeks, but it didn't work out for me. There is more to the story too, but it is too long to put into a comment. It is just great to be able to hear others shout it out loud and proud that it is ok to bottle feed…and that you are not a horrible person if you don't breastfeed! I think that you have just inspired a post about this topic. I will totally give you props though and link to your blog! Thanks for the inspiration!
I love this! I did breastfeed for the first couple of weeks.. but hated it. We'll probably always formula feed by choice!
I have a hard time respecting anyone who uses the term "Lactation Nazi". I can't imagine how anyone who promotes and advocates the normal-feeding of babies could be compared to socialist monsters who murdered millions of innocent people. But I digress.
I think posts like this are very discouraging to women who are on the fence about breastfeeding. Ninety percent of babies are formula-fed before age 1, so it's not like moms who formula-feed in the minority. This is just more fuel on the fire of "breastfeeding isn't worth it". As a mother of a 15.5 month old who was exclusively breastfed for 6 months, is still breastfeeding, and has never had any artificial or cow's milk, I can honestly say that I have never been "jealous" of any "perks" or "benefits" of formula feeding. There have been times when I've been frustrated with various aspects of breastfeeding, just like I get frustrated with various aspects of parenting, my marriage, my life. But I'm too well aware of the risks of the alternatives, especially for my son who is at an increased risk of asthma & food allergies due to genetic factors, to even consider giving up on full-term breastfeeding.
As for the other so-called benefits:
1) All mothers, including those who formula-feed, should be appalled that any woman would be harassed for feeding her baby in public, and should work together to change this disgraceful cultural bias.
2) I have never felt like a cow. Cows feed baby cows. I'm a human mother who feeds her human baby.
3) We got plenty of sleep in the early, feed-all-night period by co-sleeping, which is not as safe if formula-feeding.
4) I've packed away all my silk blouses until we're through the sticky-finger stage, anyway.
If this were true, if we really didn't care how other moms fed their babies, as long as they fed them.. then we wouldn't ( and by we, I mean each side of the ridiculous argument) be making lists and justifying why we chose to go either way.
I can list 100 reasons why I love breastfeeding.
And I can list 100 more why I hate it.
And probably 100 why I think formula is wonderful for those who use it
and 100 more why I think formula is awful.
The real question though, is why does my opinion on this or anyone else's opinion on it matter?
It's personal choice and if we are truly that confident in that choice we wouldn't need to defend it to the death.
I strongly think that is a women's choice how they feed their baby. I do not think it is anyone's decision to judge at all. Do I believe breast is best, yes, my daughter is breastfed and I will continue till she quits. Would I love for everyone to try breastfeeding out, yes, of course. Breastfeeding does not work for everyone. There are many people who can not breastfeed, due to complications, medications, etc… It is a very personal decision that is very rewarding but also hard work. For me, it is the best decision I have ever made.
Well, I applaud & respect your willingness to stand strong & speak up. BF was easy for me, did it with all 4, for an almost grand total of 7 or 8 years. That's not always the case. As a BF supporter, I never struggle with those who struggled with the decision, but rather those who dismiss nursing out of hand, often from sheer vanity or selfishness, or worse, try to argue the fact that breast is best. Ultimately, every Mom has to do what works for her & her baby, not just for BOTH of their physical health, but BOTH of their emotional health as well. Sometimes people forget to consider Mom's health in this issue. And sometimes the bottle is needed instead. I read your post…you clearly stated you had secretly hoped to turn in to a "cow" LOL…& people are too sensitive, do they not recognize tongue in cheek when they see it??!! Funny enough, my current post is Seeing Red, a soap box rant over Rabbi Schnmuley's claim that BF can harm a marriage…what an ass.
ANYWHO! Devan, following from Ember,cause your name is Devan…but I'm gonna be weird & mysterious & leave it at that. But even though it was your name that drew me in, I know I'll be back for more Chaos…that's actually a nickname of mine HA! (btw your button on Ember's blog doesn't work….I'm going to grab it from here & try it on my site…I write buttons, it's what I do, I'm the Fairy Blogmother….& just a little bit crazy…!)
OH, & definitely coke….don't even TRY to argue that one, I'll take you down!! LOL
And Devan, I also noticed Ontario….there's so many of us, we really need to do our own gathering, Canadian style!
Yay Blair! And yay for Devan, for making this blog a place where these issues can be discussed with respect and sensitivity. You women rock my world.
A few responses to comments that have been made here:
1. I think we need to acknowledge that Blair has a specific writing style (which I love); one that is self-depricating and tongue-in-cheek. I think her "list" was in good fun, and while I understand it may make some people bristle, I don't think she intended it to discourage anyone from breastfeeding. These are advantages for HER, not for everyone. Personally, I DID feel like a cow while I was breastfeeding… although in my case, it was because my son could never latch, and I was hooked up to a pump for a month straight and barely got to hold the little guy, since I was busy nursing a machine. Not fun.
2. For the poster who commented on her child's genetic propensity towards food allergies – there have actually been some recent studies suggesting breastfeeding does not have the preventative effect we once thought it did against allergies. In fact, it may increase the chance of your child developing allergies. In one particular AAP paper (I need to find the link… but if you google "AAP breastfeeding allergies" it will probably pop up), hypoallergenic formulas fared the best in terms of preventing the onset of inherited allergies. Anyway. I thought that was interesting – that is totally not to say breastfeeding doesn't offer a zillion other amazing health benefits, because it does – just think that this is one that might have been overstated….
3. I think it is healthy and good for women to admit when they do not enjoy breastfeeding. Even if you decide to continue to do it. I was talking to a mom today who whispered to me that she "couldn't wait to stop breastfeeding". Her son is 8 months old. Where I live, you nurse for a year; that's just what is "done", unless you have a "legit" medical reason like I did. But a lot of my friends were incredibly relieved when that year was up. Again, does this mean people shouldn't nurse? Of course not. There are so many great benefits to breastfeeding… but I see it like pregnancy. Does it suck to give up coffee and get huge and not drink and feel like an incubator for 9(10) months? Yes. Do we do it, over and over in some of our cases? Yes. Does that mean have to love every minute of it? No freaking way.
Can I say that I love you Blair? Seriously? I have had such issues with pro breast feeding mommas that I wanted to shove their heads in a men's gas station restroom. Yep.
http://giftedly-outspoken.blogspot.com/2010/03/breast-is-best.html
I am PRO FEEDING!
Okay. I just re-read all the comments and Rebecca, yours kind of just pissed me off. Yeah I know, I'm just saying.
So what if the mother is "vain" in not wanting to be a food supply to the baby? Why is that so wrong? When a woman decides to become a mother she gives up so much of herself already, does she really need to give up her boobs too?
From the get go I had said I would never breast feed. It simply did NOT appeal to me. I won't make a stink if you are breast feeding in front of me but it didn't draw me in. I never thought to myself "Oh how beautiful" and I never thought "Oh how disgusting". I just thought, "Wow you seriously have to be there 24/7". While I love being a mother to my wonderfully healthy FORMULA FED baby, I do like knowing that I can go to the hair salon for 4 hours for color, cut and blow dry and my child won't starve to death.
Oh yeah, just for the record. I FF my baby, my friend is a breast feeding mom. My kid is almost 2 months old, her's is 6 weeks old. Her's has a few medical issues and is on 3 medications now. Mine is 100% healthy and hasn't needed a doctor besides regular checkups.
I'm not saying breast isn't best but let's be honest, formula feeding is a HEALTHY alternative for us vain, stupid, unwilling to suffer if its not working type of mommas.
Oh, as for the lactation nazi I think its just part of how Blair writes and there is a HUGE difference between someone who is pro breastfeeding and discusses it and someone who is unwilling to hear that there are two sides to every story and that sometimes breast feeding simply ISN'T an option due to PERSONAL reasons.
You see, feeding your child is necessary. How you choose to feed them is a PERSONAL choice. There ARE options and those who refuse to believe that ARE breast feeding nazis.