In the Accustomed Chaos household you will find a lot of toys. Blocks, cars, dolls, puzzles, books, balls, stackables even containers and jars. What you wont find though are any toys that promote weapon play. No guns. Strict rule. This was a conscious decision my husband and I made before our first child was born.
Why?
Guns are not fun. There is nothing fun about them and unless (*) you come from a family who are avid hunters or a military family – there is no real life skill learned there. Guns are violent and promote only one thing. to kill.
My husband is not specifically against other ‘weapons’ like swords or bows. His reasoning:
When was the last time you heard of someone dying from a sword
I still don’t like to promote any type of play that simulates injuring someone else. I am shocked with the young boys i run into randomly at the store who think running around pretending to shoot me (a stranger) with their hands cocked like guns is ok and fun. Where did their innocence go? The time where they had no idea what killing was? We are not hardwired to kill. Guns do not help people, there is nothing positive about a gun. Play shooting someone is not playing.
I will not tell you what to get or not get for your child but i will not promote it with my children. (*) It’s my hope that if you do get your child a weapon ‘toy’ that you take the time to have a discussion with them about the dangers of weapons, that death by weapon is painful and not make belief.
I would much rather my child receive a book.
ps. i love this idea: War Against Improper Toys Drive
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
I think once you've lost someone in your life to a weapon you are even more sensitive about this sort of thing, or at least I am. We won't be allowing gun toys in our home, either.
Sam is in the Army now, and a Marine before. I am ok with swords, bows and arrows, typical boy stuff. I'm not ok with guns. I'm definitely not ok with the kind in the toy stores that look like machine guns. Like you said, a gun has no other purpose than to kill. Bows and arrows are an art, swords can be used for dueling.
agreed 100%….when I have it will be the same in my house
At our school, we do the same thing. No guns, no gender specific toys, no books/materials of syndicated chars, with exceptions for things like Maisy, Berenstain Bears, etc. They will engage in rough play, but we keep play fighting to a minimum, and no toys are allowed to be used for pretend guns. We can't control what they do at home, but we can control the mood/environment at school.
When I was growing up, the only guns we knew were water guns and Super Soakers, etc. When I get kids I wouldn't mind getting them something like that, but specifically in bright colours so it doesn't even resemble a real gun.
This is something I struggle with. It's something I don't agree with either but my stepson is allowed to have them and has many in my house. Not a fan
This is a great topic and a difficult one for me…I agree with all the points you make, and I have no problem with the boy playing 'gun' with his blocks or the tv clicker, things where he's using his imagination.
That said, I'm not a fan of the life-like guns that are available…that being said my nephews have a lot of life-like guns and the boy loves to play with guns with his cousins when he goes to their house.
We've basically decided he can play guns at his aunties, but we don't want any in our house…and we've already instructed them – no guns for christmas.
We don't do guns either. The only exception are water pistols.
I disagree. If taught proper usage and handling even when only dealing with toy guns, there is no harm in them. Guns don't kill people, people kill people WITH guns. Don't blame the car if the idiot driving is the one who caused the accident…likewise don't blame guns for people's choices.
It's often people with no gun experience at all that kill others accidentally. If everyone had knowledge of guns from a young age up and was taught respect for their power, there would be far fewer accidental discharge deaths.
Then again, we're a hunting family and firm believers in our 1st Amendment right to bear arms.
21st Century DG
Thanks for your comment! I am in Canada and as a canadian we dont have the same "right to bear arms" and to be honest i am not a supporter of that US right. I think that is a big reason crime is much higher in the US then Canada – but that's a different topic
I think your point about learning and respecting the power of the weapon is really where my issue is. I worry that parents are not having that talk with their children. 5 and 6 year olds running around pretending to shoot someone is not really respecting their power.
i dont blame the guns for peoples actions – i do blame the glorification of the guns and the glorification of power they hold as a big issue with society.
Guns are not meant to be toys.
i think you're very right. i have a little girl, so this is not an issue with us right now. but if someday i have a son, i think we'll propose the same rules.
We had the same rule in our house growing up. No toys guns. Though eventually when we were older my mom softened up to allowing water guns. I'll probably do the same and allow her a water gun or two once my daugher's like 8. 'Cause come on! Water guns are fun in the summer time! But other then that I totally agree, Guns are not appropriate toys for kids.
I would have to agree, I am not in favor of ANY weapons or things that can cause harm in our home!
My husband's in law enforcement and has to keep his gun at home. Our GIRL will be learning that guns are a specific tool for a specific use. If she's interested, she'll go to the range and learn how to shoot and handle it properly. If you shield children away from guns entirely, what are you saying about the people who have careers in law enforcement or the military?
What's the deal with guns being a boy thing? There's no such thing as gender-specific toys. Adults add those labels, not kids.
Twitter: LinnieDeLuxe
December 29, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I have to agree with 21 Century DG and Stephanie. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.
Children need to learn what weapons are capable of, and what the consequences (and by that I mean death and injury, not jail time) are.
Devan, you should know, that while Canadians do not have the Right to Bear Arms, gun ownership is actually higher (per capita) in Canada than in the US. The highest rate of gun ownership belongs to Switzerland, and as we all know they are neutral.
Also, I find it a little silly that you will ban one weapon and not another. Are swords not massive knives? Are bows not primitive killing instruments?
Whether an individual is killing for hunting, rage or other purposes shouldn’t matter. Killing is killing, regardless of the victim and the weapon.
As a former military instructor of rifles I can tell you the most dangerous gun is one who is in the hands of someone who does not know how to use it properly.
Twitter: AccustomedChaos
December 29, 2010 at 12:31 pm
My post is specifically addressing the marketing of toy weapons to children & not addressing actual weapons for grown people who use them in their profession or recreation
Stephanie: I agree that there is no such thing as gender neutral toys. my post addresses both my son and daughters *
As far as the gun ownership vs right to bear arms — i believe there is a huge difference between the right to owning a gun and the right to carry it with you at all times. Switzerland requires a license to carry a gun out in public (usually only granted to certain civilian occupations) and pass a written exam which includes a section on handling skills and lawful use of the weapon.If someone has been trained by the Swiss army it is law to have their gun at home, locked and away from ammunition. very different then the laws in the united states. (*as far as i understand it to be)
This is Ryan, Devan’s husband. Just for clarification we do not allow any weapons related toys in our house. Not just guns. We also don’t allow any tv programing or movies that glorify senseless violence (especially gun related). Devan’s comment about swords was from a conversion that I had with her recently. The comment is actually from my opinions, not hers. She’s more against weapons then I am. I grew up with toy guns, Voltron and Thunder Cat swords, home made nun-chucks and graduated to sling shots, bow and arrows, bb guns, hunting knifes as I got older. I was always taught how to use them responsibly. As a kid I had lots of fun with them but when I look back I never used them because I wanted to learn to be a hunter, or join law enforcement or serve my country with them. I used them because I thought violence was cool and fun to pretend. The kid I would play with thought the same thing. When I reflect back on it with my adult eyes and experience I think a lot of it was stupid and immature. I was always a responsible and intelligent child. I always knew the consequences that misuse of a weapon had. But what I don’t think my pre-adult mind ever grasped was that they are not cool.
A mom and dad can teach a child pretty easily that a gun can be used to kill a someone. At a certain age the child may even understand the concept that death is forever. But it’s tough to teach a kid that a murder weapon is not “cool” when they are running around the neighbourhood playing war games. Using weapons for play is something I feel teaches the a wrong message that violence is acceptable.
I was at a Kid Zone play centre that we like to take our kids to. In the food area they had YTV on a couple of the televisions. I have no idea what the show was but I was pretty shocked when I saw an animated Santa Clause being attacked by monsters, retaliate by ripping off his jolly red suit to reveal a Rambo-esque, muscle bound, warrior with two straps of ammunition across his chest and a fully automatic weapon in each hand should out “Let’s do this!” A bearded Santa ready blast holes in any thing that got in his way. Really!? This is what we entertain our youth with?
The point is this. Parents can teach their kids all they want about the dangers of weapons like guns and swords and the like. They can teach them that miss use can kill. But when the television programing, video games, comic books and movies our society immerses them in depicts killing someone as cool, fun and exciting, it’s almost impossible to teach them that it’s not cool. By handing a child a plastic hand gun and telling them to play with it carefully, it’s one more influence for them telling them that weapons are acceptable. It’s a mixed message. Teaching kids the dangers of guns is important, but it’s nearly impossible to do by handing them a toy. It would be like telling you kids that drugs can kill you and ruin your life and then giving them a fake plastic crack pipe to play with.