My husband and I have been together for what feels like forever (in a good way). More specifically we have been a couple for 12 years, living together for 9 years and married for 7 years. We met in high school – I was 17 years old and he was in a grade above and was 18 years old. We moved in together when I started college the year after he began. We married the year we graduated and have been inseparable. We have done a lot of growing up together.
We have nothing in common though.
I am not over dramatizing this either. What we have in common really is we like each other and we like our kids and we both work all the time.
We don’t have any hobbies in common. We don’t have any real talents or skills that are in common. We don’t like the same music. We don’t like the same outdoor activities. We don’t have the same social tendencies.
We don’t have the same religious beliefs, we don’t always agree on how to raise our children, we don’t have the same ideas on how large our family should be.
He is emotional. I am not. He is not shy. I am. He likes to try all different kinds of food. I don’t. He learns quicker by doing. I learn quicker by reading.
Seriously, the list could go on forever.
I find it so fascinating that we have such little in common yet chose to be with each other. We chose to start a family together. & you know what?
We work. & we work well.
I can’t explain it and I don’t know why or how we work but we do. Relationship advice always seems to warn that we should find things in common – to build our relationship on commonalities.
I guess one thing we do have in common is we respect each other’s differences and we work well together because of them. We are a great team.
:: Do you and your partner have any common hobbies/interests? ::
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Funny how you post this today, the other night my husband and I were actually talking about the fact that we have nothing in common, lol. We seem to work alright, but I do sometimes see couples who have hobbies/interests that they enjoy together and we just don’t.
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I feel like we are in the same boat. My husband and I don’t have much in common and have contrasting views on life in general. He loves trying different foods, unlike myself, and also has a different taste in music. But I feel that he has been able to gradually open my eyes to foods, music, outdoor activities that I would not have been able to experience had I not met him. It’s funny, isn’t it?
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hahahah sounds very familiar. My husband and I have a book collection in common – but thats about it. our core collection is similar but we majorly diverge in other subjects there. I know cars, love technology/computers, smart phone, etc… he hates his phone, only knows as much tech as he needs to get by, comes to me when he needs to buy a new car.
shy and i’m not. hates most new foods, but i love to try new stuff. Gentle, emotional etc, and i’m pragmatic and HATE getting emotional. 
but we work! go figure. I think the lack of things in common is more of an indicator of you each complementing each other – if we had everything in common it would get boring. (I have to admit, his choice in music makes me want to strangle him sometimes, but im’ not usually here when he listens so i can deal. 
)
I loved this because Husband and I don’t have any common interests either. We don’t work “well” together, but we work, and we’re determined. At least we’re not the only ones! And seriously, the music thing is a big deal. He listens to rap, you guys! RAP MUSIC!
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October 21, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Yep, same here. I think I figured out why we were attracted to one another. I’m excitable. He’s calm. I’m a social butterfly. He’s a wall-flower. Together, we balance each other out. We make one perfect union
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October 21, 2011 at 2:13 pm
Love this —>”I guess one thing we do have in common is we respect each other’s differences and we work well together because of them. We are a great team.” Beautiful post Devan, I often feel the same about Nick and I – but we work, and I’m happy with that!
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Our story is similar to your story. But I do know what we have in common … what no one else is gonna say it? OK, I will say it. Mutual attraction and great sex
That helps a lot, and is also a nice thing to have in common that no one else can share in! ( at least, we are not inviting, lol!)
Twitter: Ariklee
October 21, 2011 at 5:11 pm
Thats funny. Me and my wife have nothing in common either. But I guess that’s where they get the saying “opposites attract”. Lol
Twitter: HStayingAfloat!
October 23, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I think it’s great that you don’t have anything in common with eachother. That means you don’t get bored, you get a different perspective, you can rely on his strengths and he can rely on yours, and that you didn’t marry yourself! HA!
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October 24, 2011 at 1:26 am
My husband and I have very very little in common. He sounds a lot like you, actually
Whereas I sound like your husband. We do make such a fabulous pair, though, and we both enjoy a good evening of Dungeons & Dragons. Yup. We’re adults.
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Wow. This is inspirational. I recently broke up with a girl because she said we have no chemistry. I think she secretly cannot accept that two people who do not have common interests can actually be with each other. You are all living proof that my belief is true. A relationship works when two people are opposites. Now I am writing this to vent. As you can imagine being mutual friends does not help, especially since I still have feelings for her. I wish all the luck to you all.
Now I hope I find that girl that has chemistry with me.
Sav,
I think having common interests and chemistry are two different things. I think the reason some couples can stay together although they don’t share the same hobbies and interests is precisely because they HAVE chemistry. You know, that certain something that makes you attracted in a very basic, visceral way. It can be emotional, spiritual or sexual or all three, but you know it when you have it.