If you ever want to see my panties get into a bind there is an easy way to do it. Call yourself a breastfeeding advocate or ‘lactavist’ but spend most of your “education and informational” time bashing formula and women who use it.
We know my stance on the marketing of formula and the companies themselves. Something really needs to change in THAT aspect, but you wont ever read me bashing formula itself and will for sure NEVER see me refer to it as poison or cast judgments on women who need to OR choose to use formula.
Breast is ideal. Nothing manufactured can come close to breast milk. It is incredible. It is however sometimes not possible for women or babies for many reasons that are really our none of our business. What is our business is to be an advocate for the rights of breastfeeding women and families, to protect our rights to feed our children and to not have our confidence undermined or to battle against Booby Traps. To be there for women struggling and confused and to promote correct information about breastfeeding.
Support – NOT fear mongering – is what breastfeeding advocacy and lactivism is about.
In a perfect world there would be no need for formula. Women would not have their confidence undermined or be thrown judgments. Doctors, hospitals and families would be armed with the correct information about breastfeeding and be supportive. There would be milk banks in every city that is affordable, covered under insurance and never at danger of closing. There would be no such thing as galactosemia, casein intolerance, latch problems, every work place would be supportive in breastfeeding, women would have adequate maternal leave and women wouldn’t have to choose between breastfeeding and taking a non compatible medication to save their life. Breastfeeding would come easy to everyone and no one would be looked at when breastfeeding in public or asked to leave or cover up.
We do not live in this world. It would be amazing – but we don’t.
If you hate formula and think it is evil and poison and should be banned – take a look at your life. Did you ever have to struggle at breastfeeding? Did it come easy to you with no booby traps and tons of support? Are you healthy and don’t have to choose between breastfeeding and your life? Do you have to be separated from your child? Are you able to afford and have access to breast pumps or milk banks? I can bet I know the answers to these questions…
Fear mongering and scare tactics are not conducive to POSITIVE lactivism.
Think about who needs your help the most? Is it the woman who has all the support in the world and none of those barriers? Is it the woman who is fully aware of the barriers and has all the support to overcome them? NO. It is the woman who has no support, is surrounded by barriers and difficult issues who’s confidence is undermined.
If you ever want to see change you need to be approachable. No one is going to “listen to your message” if it is full of hate and judgment and fear mongering. Calling formula “poison” shuts that communication down completely – bashing women who use formula shuts the communication down completely.
If you spend most of your time bashing FORMULA (not their marketing) & the women who use it (without EVER taking the time to listen to THEIR story) you are NOT a breastfeeding advocate. You make life harder for those who are BREASTFEEDING advocates.
Educate yourself not only on the ‘dangers’ and inferiority of formula but on the barriers of breastfeeding. Listen to stories and stop the judgments. Be thankful if you did not have any barriers. Think about who your message is intended for. Are you trying to promote change or rally with the other ‘formula bashers’. Which is more conductive to your time?
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{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
I nursed my first daughter for 16 months. She self-weaned just two weeks before we discovered I was pregnant with her sister.
Her sister was born with a cleft palate and could not nurse. I exclusively pumped for seven months. The decision to go to formula was heartbreaking. My mother nursed myself and my brothers for 18 months each. Nursing was what we did. I braced myself for having to defend myself at the store each time I had to buy formula. I was ready to bite someone's head off – how dare they judge me without knowing my story. But you know what – it never happened.
When our second daughter was a little over a year old, we became unexpectedly pregnant with our third. He was a champion nurser at the get go. I had a blissful postpartum with him. And then emotional trauma unrelated to his birth slammed into my life, killing my supply. At 6 months old, he had only gained 6 lbs. I was faced with a decision – to pump or switch to formula. Pumping the first time around fed into severe PP OCD. I didn't want to go back there after having had such a blissful postpartum. Within 24 hours, we had switched to formula and we all began to thrive.
Bottom line – formula saved my children's lives. I stand by that. I also stand by my belief in breastmilk. But I am beyond grateful for the existence of formula for without it, I wouldn't have my two youngest bright, happy, and wonderful children here with me.
You are so right when you say that we need to support mothers no matter what. We need to be open. But we also need to hold the formula companies responsible for their marketing activities. It's a fine line to walk and I commend you for your post here. It's absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
Warmest,
Lauren Hale
Love this, love you. I'm RTing the link right now.
And Lauren, I never knew your story before… thank you so much for sharing it, and for your beautiful comment!
I think you are right, but it is why I think formula should be available on prescription so that it is available to those who need it, rather than to those who have simply fallen for the hype from companies, because sadly there are those too and no matter how nice we want to be to those who formula feed, the dangers are real.
I am vocally pro breastfeeding but I recently wrote a post about safe formula feeding because I think there's a need for that information out there too. I would class myself as a lactivist, but as I said in that post I am pro safe and healthy babies first and foremost.
No matter what your topic or your parenting or life choices, bashing other people is no way to get through to them. And standing on a pedestal just makes you a much easier target.
Do you really run across a lot of commentary that says "Formula is poison and should be banned," though? This is bordering on, well, "lactivist"-bashing, suggesting that such extremist views are widespread, or even common enough to be worthy of note.
Anonymous
unfortunately this type of commentary is widespread. & i am not bashing lactivists – i am suggesting to those who promote their hate for formula & judge the women who use it (there ARE people who do) re-evaluate their method and figure out who they are trying to help and talk to.
I totally agree with your view! I bf all three of mine(I even tandem nursed my first 2 b/c they were less than 17 months apart and my first wasn't ready to be done). So, I'm very much a supporter of breastfeeding.
HOWEVER, I have friends and relatives who tried SO hard to nurse. And couldn't for a variety of reasons.
While I will always say that breast is best, I don't ever stand in judgement of those who don't.
I HAVE come across quite a few women who are so militant about it- I don't understand their position. I don't think tht it helps anyone to have this view. The LLL group that I tried(just my experience, I know they are not all like this) was like this. They said giving your child formula was the same as putting soda in their bottle. I was so turned off- even as a bf mom- that I never went back.
Great post! You make great points about knowing who it is you are trying to help. Often, it isn't the moms for whom nursing is easy. It is those who are having a hard time and already feeling guilt or failure as a result. Fear mongering and scare tactics will not help those people.
So great to see people who understand how to support nursing and also support moms as a whole!
Thanks for saying what needs to be said!
I have loved nursing my son these past 10 months, and have no intentions of stopping anytime soon. But your right, I have had a pretty smooth BFing journey, so sometimes I do have a hard time understanding why some people choose formula if they don't have to.
I do think the formula industry is a little wacked. I've recieved pro-BFing junk mail "brought to you by Enfamil." WTF?? And maybe some limits or restrictions to formula use isn't a bad idea…
Wonderful post! You have a very balanced perspective on the whole thing.
I was a formula feeder (not really by choice, but that would be a long story), and I never encountered anyone who gave me grief about it in real life. I did, however, encounter a lot of people who gave me grief about it online. I did have several women tell me that I was giving my child "rat poison," and that I didn't "try hard enough," and that I had "failed [my] daughter." It doesn't soften the blow that I only encountered these things online and not to my face, it still hurt a lot.
I believe in supporting breastfeeding, and I believe that the vast majority of women should give it a try, at the very least. I also don't see why formula companies even feel the need to advertise. We all know what formula is, thanks. I used a store-brand one with my daughter. All those freebies, coupons and advertising was for nothing with me.
It is certainly not impossible to be pro-breastfeeding, while still treating formula feeding moms with respect, as you have so beautifully demonstrated. Formula isn't "garbage," and neither are the mothers who use it.
I think you make some excellent points, I appreciate your post. I too am a breastfeeding advocate and find myself appalled at formula/formula-feeding bashing sadly, rather often. of course, I even more often find myself infuriated at the breastfeeding bashing. It just seems there is no way to win. It breaks my heart though that it isn't unusual for a formula-feeding mother to express that she feels criticized or bashed when she hears what is simply information regarding breastfeeding and the risks associated with formula-feeding. There is a difference.
While I do hold that formula companies should follow the WHO code of marking breastmilk substitutes and I am often angry with their under-handed trickery, I do not think that placing blame on mothers that formula feed is a positive way to bring about change and education.
I shared my views on being a lactivist here
http://leakyboob.blogspot.com/2010/08/oh-my-gosh-im-lactivist.html
and on guilt as a motivating factor here:
http://leakyboob.blogspot.com/2010/07/women-should-not-feel-guilty-if-they.html
I'll keep it short. I breast-fed my son until he weened himself. I plan to breast-feed my second… and if I'm blessed with a giant oops… my 3rd too. LOL! I have supported many friends and family members trying to breast-feed through the VERY rough times. However, I have also supported my friends and family that use formula by choice or necessity. Lets face it, motherhood is hard. We need to unite and support each other to make the decisions that work best for our families… whatever they may be.
I agree! I breastfed until 6 months with both daughters and then I dried up- not sure why and I wish I could have gone longer, but I did my best and am proud of it! So now I have to use formula. you have no idea how ashamed I was the first time I had to buy formula, I hid it in my buggy. so I don't judge breast feeders or formula feeders and I expect not to be judged myself.
Thanks for your post. It's a really important topic, and I'm happy to see it addressed.
I agree that compassion and support are of the utmost importance when trying to promote BF. I do have to say, however, that it makes me sad that I have to watch even mentioning breastfeeding around many of the women I know, because they take it as an attack on their decision to use formula. I never attack, and I choose my words very carefully for that reason, but I know many women who wanted to nurse their babies and now say they 'just couldn't' for various reasons, when they really could have benefited and maybe been more successful in their attempts if they had better information and more education.
It makes me sad that I have to tread so lightly, but I let it be known that I am willing to serve as support for anyone who needs it, and I have faith that someday my experience will help someone who needs it.
So, so true. Thank you for writing this!!
Anonymous– I've seen those sorts of comments a lot, usually online– that formula is poison, should never be used, etc. I don't know how often those people say those things to the face of formula-feeding mothers, but they post it online like it's nothing.
I also have a friend who adopted 2 kids, fed both of them formula, and she's made a comment to me that she still feels angry at the people who'd come up to her and judge her without even knowing what her situation was. So, sadly, yes they do exist. I believe it is these "lactivists" who contribute to this being such a hot-button issue, actually, as every formula-feeding mother who's ever been confronted by one of them will forever carry with her that anger and it will rise to the surface anytime *anyone* then talks about breastfeeding.
What an interesting take on things! I really appreciate you bringing this topic to light. I agree that formula using mothers should NOT be put down, but I would like to take it one step farther. I do not think ANYONE should be hounded.
Full disclosure: I am not yet a mother. I do not have any breastfeeding experience under my belt.
I do, however have experience with breastfeeding supporters, or fanatics if you will. Prior to this experience I was a whole hearted supporter of breastfeeding and worked to change the way formula was marketed. I banned Nestle (amongst other things), heartbreakingly not only Smartie was found in my vicinity. I focused a large part of my university studies directly around this cause.
My negative experience started with one statement, "If you do not support breastfeeding in public, you do not support breastfeeding." I stand by my stance that this is a blanket statement which acts to prejudge people based on their values which have nothing to do with breastfeeding (but may affect the action).
After the experience with these women I will never again stand on their side. I have found the fanatical side unbearable and in fact far more likely to resort to tyrannical, lying and intimidation tactics to get what they want.
Apparently, my view makes me a terrorist, a baby killer, accused of lying about my education and credentials. For three days I was hounded by women who attempted to intimidate me into their position.
This is not acceptable. I find it abhorrent that a group who preaches peace, non-judgemental and loving practices could (immediately) turn so violent.
As a result my trust has faltered. I no longer trust the ladies I worked to support, in fact I work to ensure I am no longer associated with them. Nor do I trust doctors, so I suppose I must wade through my childbearing years with the two groups I know will never let me down: my parents and brown Smarties.
L
Thanks, I LOVE this! I'm a OB nurse and a lactivist, and I've said many times, smacking a child should make you feel guilty, feeding one should not! People have no clue what other people go through during pregnancy, birth, and life in general. I'm a huge supported of breastfeeding but its equally (yeah I said equally) important that people who choose formula be fully supported! its amazing how many women I see that tell me they tried to breastfeed their first child and had problems and no where to turn. why should these women be brow beaten for not starving their child?
I've also witnessed one child who came back to the hospital after his mother was not taught how to properly mix formula, and he was lucky to be alive! you wouldn't think that would be a big deal but using the wrong substances to mix formula can cause everything from liver problems to heart failure. So long as formula is commercially available we must include formula feeders in supporting mothers, all mothers!
My issue with this post is the following statement:
"Be thankful you did not have any barriers."
I am extremely tired of the assumption people often make that if you succeed at breastfeeding you must be lucky or didn't have ANY problems.
Why am I a die-hard lactavist? BECAUSE of the "barriers" I faced! Lack of support, uneducated hospital staff, a piss-poor pediatrician, a disrespectful ENT, and a child with tongue and lip ties. I had to do MASSIVE amounts of research on my own…when next to no information was there to be found! But I stuck it out, dealt with the pain and frustration…all while dealing with a severe case of PPD. Barriers? I had 'em! I struggled, pushed, and clawed my way over the damned things! And then some! I have done everything in my power since to reach out and help over mothers who are struggling or need support.
Formula? It's not poison…but it's not so great either. I'm not going to bash moms for using it, but I'm not going to pretend that formula is God's gift to humanity.
I appreciate you taking the time to point out that often lactivism can end up taking aim at the wrong target. Not all the time, but it does happen and when I see it it makes me cringe. You are brave to speak out against it.
It also made me cringe to read your rash assumption that those of us who have had what we'd define as successful runs with breastfeeding have done so because it was all rainbows and butterflies, completely devoid of challenges. What I'm afraid you're doing with that assertion is perpetuating a booby trap yourself. In order to have a long nursing relationship with your baby, you do not have to have a perfectly obstacle-free road. Believing that myth means that the moment you run into a challenge, you may start to tell yourself that, well, then maybe breastfeeding just wasn't for you. It's supposed to just be easy, right??
I agree that often it's done improperly, but I do believe this to be true: breastfeeding is worth fighting for.
I want to clarify because it seems to be misunderstood. My reference to those who had had successful breastfeeding relationships ALL have it easy is not what i was saying. I was referring to those women who seem to show no compassion for those women who DO have those traps & for what ever reason need to/choose to use formula.
I did not have an easy breastfeeding start & I DO NOT believe it comes easy for everyone. that point was directed to those lactivists who do not seem to look at it from the other side – likely because THEY had it easy.
I do believe BREASTFEEDING is worth fighting for – but i do not believe it needs to be done by bashing those who are not able/do not choose to do it themselves.
i breast feed for 2 weeks then i ended up with the flu. i was pumping as well so my son had 2 weeks worth of milk stored up and i kept trying to feed and pump as well as taking supplements. but he was starving still. we switched to formula and we have been a very happy family. i get looked down a lot and told i didn't try hard enough. i tried for 2 weeks and i was not going to let my son starve.
I don't know a single mother who hasn't cried through a nursing session with cracked and sore nipples. No, not even the raging, attacking finger-pointing lactivism ones. You may not have been trying to say that EVERYONE's road was easy, but it is a booby trap to assume that ANYONE'S road is easy. It is, how do you say, judgmental.
I don't agree it is a booby trap. There are many women who i have spoken to who have had it "easy" and can not for the life of them understand or even try to understand why someone would "give up" or "choose the lazy road". There are also many women who have had it "tough" and have surpassed them yet STILL judge those women who were not in a position to push through it – for whatever reason.
Cracked nipples lined with support and information is vastly different then breastfeeding STRUGGLES.
It is not a judgment. Yes i am under the impression that anyone who bashes formula or women who use formula has never had to actually NEED to consider ever using formula because they clearly lack the compassion for the other woman's situation.
My definition of a lactivist is someone who promotes breastfeeding rights, supports women in their struggles & goals and help to eliminate the traps and up the confidence of women. We do not need to do that by bashing women who use formula. plain and simple. There is a line between educating and forwarding information and promoting hate and fear mongering and that line is crossed too often.
What I wrote is not assuming every 'lactivist' breastfeeding relationship has been "done so because it was all rainbows and butterflies, completely devoid of challenges" {i said that no where!} nor do i think formula is "gods gift to mankind" i just can not get behind the idea of putting the blame on the woman or the formula when no one has taken the time to listen to their story or their challenges.
support not judgment.
We cannot fix this problem by sugar coating everything so we don't offend those that did not or could not breastfeed. If you choose not to breastfeed then own that decision. If you could not for whatever reason, than realize that doesn't mean you can never breastfeed and maybe you could have but didn't have the right support. We live in a society where people get their feelings hurt easily and consequently, we just don't talk about things. As a breastfeeder, I am looked down far more as a breastfeeder than I was as a formula feeder. It is still more accepted for a woman to feed her baby formula. I really fail to see what formula feeders are talking about when they think they are being looked down on for using formula. Maybe online you are, but in real life no one seems to care. Most people actually prefer to see a bottle being used and you don't get a second glance. Breastfeeders get stared at and talked about. They get kicked out of public places for feeding their babies! I do not judge because I have been there, but I refuse to keep my mouth shut in order to keep the peace. Many women never look back at why their breastfeeding relationship failed. They just stick to what they thought at the time was the reason and they pass that onto everyone they know and pretty soon, they've convinced someone not to breastfeed because formula is just as good and it will save them the stress of trying to establish breastfeeding. I know, because someone did that to me and I fell for it.
As you know, I host a lot of discussion on lactivism on my blog. I find that my regular commenters have a very good understanding of what true lactivism is, either because they have known all along or because they have learned through reading my blog and others.
Where I always run into difficulties is in posts that get a lot of widespread attention and bring in new readers who feel very strongly about breastfeeding, but that are not part of the lactivism world day in and day out. They are the ones who tend to post comments that are out of line and that turn things from intelligent discussion to unfortunate squabbles over things that should never have been said.
I have said it before, and I will say it again: I think that you can promote breastfeeding on its own benefits, without ever mentioning formula, and doing so would mean there would be no more formula bashing, it would be a non-issue.
Am I a lactivist? Absolutely, because I have had a wonderful breastfeeding experience, and I think that with increased education and support many more women would be able to enjoy the same. Note, I am not saying all women, because I respect a woman's choice to choose how she wants to feed her baby, but education/support from society would certainly help improve breastfeeding outcomes on the whole in my opinion.
You are 100% correct Devan that we cannot afford to divide ourselves as mothers and waste energy fighting amongst each other, as doing so is counter productive – a waste of energy that could be spent elsewhere for positive gain.
Devan.
Great post. I think you've said a lot that needs to be said. I hope people read this carefully and learn from it that mothers are all on the same team, with the same goal, doing what's best for their children. This article, at it's heart, is all about understanding. Being able to see and understand other people situations.
Kim.
The line you have trouble with is missing a very important word from your quotation of it. That word is “if” The line actually reads “Be thankful if you did not have any barriers.” No assumption was made there. If someone did not have any barriers strong enough to force them to stop breastfeeding.. they should be thankful! Not everyone is as lucky.
That thing you said about pretending “formula is god's gift to humanity” made me laugh a bit. It just kinda of funny because breast milk could be considered god's gift to humanity (unless you're not religious). I'm just wondering where you ever got the impression from this article that anyone wanted you to go around supporting formula?
AlicineO
I fear that the controversy that surrounds this topic might have caused you to miss read some of the content. Possibly leading you to look at it as though Devan is taking a formula feeding side. Devan is actually a breastfeeding advocate herself. Nowhere in this post is there ever an assumption made that breastfeeding supporters have had easy runs with breastfeeding. Read it carefully.
You have to look at who this article is targeted at. It's targeted at the extremest. The people who do refer to formula as poison. This is not an attack on real breastfeeding advocates or lactivist. It's an attack on the people who consider them selves to be breastfeeding advocates or lactivist but are so anti-formula, unapproachable and just plain hateful, that they are detrimental to their own cause.
The only place in the article that Devan make's an assumption or anything even remotely judgemental is in the paragraph that she asks people who “hate formula and think it should be banned” to evaluate there own situation and perhaps think “Would I say such hateful things about formula if I was put into a situation beyond my control that forced me to stop breastfeeding?” I don't like to make assumptions myself, but even I would go out on a limb to say that a lactivist would not hate formula enough to have it banned if it was the only option they had to feed their child.
Everyone:
Lastly before the comments continue to drift further away from the actual content of the post I think people should read the article again before commenting. There may be a giant picture of a bottle vs a breastfeeding silhouette at the top, but the actual content of the post is about the difference between advocating for breastfeeding as opposed to hating on people who formula feed. Hence the title “Breastfeeding Advocacy vs Formula Bashing”
I have seen both sides of this. I breastfed my daughter until my nipples bled (she was two months old) then I gave in and used formula.
Breast is best but formula can be a saviour as well.
Just my opinion
Ryan – No, I quoted it correctly. The post has been edited since I commented to include an "if". I imagine BECAUSE of my post.
I am frustrated with the sidetracking of the conversation. The semantics do not need to be argued. The context of the post was never edited.
Kim: I would love if you would read some other posts i have made in the past and re-read this one. You will find that i DO NOT feel that those who are successful had no barriers – nor do i think that formula is "gods gift" <– you are making assumptions here and no where have i said either statement.
check this out. The best ad campaign ever conceived. Good reason to not say "Breast is Best."
But it is also the reason so many lactivists are so intense.
http://dou-la-la.blogspot.com/2010/09/breast-is-best-sponsored-by-simfamil.html
Thanks for sharing the link – i have read that & thought it made a good point. I have a hard time seeing how that post relates to this one because i am VERY against the MARKETING of formula
Read here for my WHO post
but i am also AGAINST fear mongering to women & the judgment placed ON THE woman who is using formula for their child. That needs to stop. period.
I think that the discussion thread here just supports Devan's point, and I'm sure it makes her as sad as it makes me. Devan and I don't agree on everything, but we both care deeply about women feeling supported and having the right resources and education. On the other stuff, we can agree to disagree, b/c we know in the end we respect each other's choices and opinions. But this is rare – and it shouldn't be.
As an advocate for infant feeding CHOICE and options and honesty (not "formula as god's gift", although as someone whose child would most likely have died or been quite sickly in a world without it, I tend to appreciate the stuff more than some – not that I think it is perfect, by any means, but I would rather fight to make it better than rail against it or eliminate it from our lives), I find it puzzling that people get so riled up about a post like this. I read blogs all the time which say a few comments here and there which might rub me the wrong way, but as long as they are promoting a message of understanding and peace and support between women, I support it. I feel like people are cherry-picking through this post to try and be angry at it. It just saddens me, because I truly believe Devan's brand of lactivism is what will change the world, and the more militant kind is doing FAR more harm than good.
I think this is a wonderful post. I'm against mother bashing at all of any kind. Why is it that when we become mother's we also turn back into high-schoolers who turn everything into a competition??
I come from a long line of breastfeeding woman, my grandmother breastfeed her 4 children, my sister breastfed her 3, so for me, there was no question about breastfeeding. I exclusively breastfed my daughter up until 6 months, at which point I wasn't able to pump enough to sustain her throughout the day while I was at work, so we added formula along with it to help. But I still nursed and still pumped as much as I could. Now, with my second, I'm no longer working, so I'll be able to exclusively breastfeed for as long as I like.
The thing that pushed me along was the fact that my family didn't blow smoke up my butt when it came to the hard details. When lactation consultants were telling me I must be doing something wrong because it "wasn't supposed to hurt," my father handed me a bit of leather and told me to bite down until it stopped hurting.
If we want to make any changes, we need to stop bashing of any kind, against any mother, and begin to offer all the education and information we have. We need to stop acting like breastfeeding is special and amazing, and start acknowledging it as simply normal. And when someone says it's too hard and they give up, instead of criticizing them, we need to remember there is a BABY in the scenario, and that's what matters.
I.Love.This.Article. Could not have possibly said it better myself and it illustrates my exact feelings in every way. Love it, thank you. Will be RT'ing and posting links to it whenever I get a chance.
The two biggest challenges I see to prolonged breastfeeding that are rarely discussed are cultural/structural ones and not formula companies or lack of initial support…1) Time management issues in a busy, frenzied, multi-tasking world, in which most women need to, want to, need/want to work outside the home, and 2) The American health & social welfare system as well as our nuclear family structure are simply less conducive to breastfeeding success than other models.
I agree mostly, but I do not like "breast is ideal" language. It's not a lofty goal, it's the bare minimum that babies deserve, if at all possible. It is not "bashing" to say the simple truth that artificial milk is not as good as breast milk. I don't say this to upset anyone. Most women who have children want to breastfeed, and mist women who try it WANT to continue, and I genuinely mourn the loss of it right along with anyone who had to stop.
That said, I think society won't change until the way we see breastfeeding changes, and that won't change until our language does.
By describing it as"best", it makes it sem less doable, or perhaps not necessary, for a large chunk of society. By describing it as normal and standard, it makes it seem accessible and doable for all. And by describing it as the minimum, I hope more ladies feel a sense of entitlement about it, and willing to push for a better standard of care and more support… Because that is what is needed and you can bet your granny it won't happen until we stamp our feet and really shout for it… Women have rarely made changes in society by asking nicely for it. We have to be squeaky wheels.
I don't refer to it as formula. I call it what ut IS: artificial milk. "Formula" is a euphemism to make it more sell-able, probably one of the cleverest marketing tactics in history. Truth is, there IS no formula for formula. There are very few restrictions on what can or should go into it. Over the counter cold medicine has mas more restrictions, guidelines and rigorous testing, because it's a drug, not a food. But doesn't "formula" sound superior and science-y??
I think some artificial milk bashing is appropriate. Not scare mongering, not emotive bs like "evil poison" etc… but sharing facts about it's shortcomings. This forces the companies to up their game and improve the product, which is surely a good thing?
@Sam,
I don't think its fair or accurate to say that formula has "very few restrictions". There's actually a fair amount of policing done on the safety and nutritional content of formula, which is why store brands are just as good as the "name" brands (and can save FF moms a great deal of money). I was recently asked to help a group of vegan moms in the UK to find a vegan breastmilk alternative for those who could not breastfeed, and there is none, exactly for this reason – certain elements that must be in formula BY LAW cannot be derived from non-animal sources (although I personally think they probably can be, but it's just not cost effective due to the infintesimal amount of vegan formula feeders in their customer base).
It's true that formula, as a man-made substance, is at the mercy of man. So yes, there will be new findings in the future that will improve upon it, and it may not be as "perfect" as breastmilk is, ever. But it is restricted, it is "watched", and it is safe, when used properly. Spreading false information on both sides is wrong, so just like people shouldn't be lying to women about breastfeeding, they shouldn't be lying about formula, either.
You raise a lot of good points. Bashing and shame have no place in lactivism. However, I have found you can offend someone even when just talking facts. You can't control how people will feel about or interpret the things you say. I too don't like talking about breastfeeding as an ideal. It is the standard in infant feeding and anything less is substandard. That is a fact. Some people don't like to hear such facts, but they are just that – facts and not coming from a mean spirited place. It's about educating and it doesn't mean some people won't still choose or even need to use formula, but we can't be afraid to discuss the facts about breastfeeding.
I appreciate this post & wish more lactivists felt this way.
seriously, i wish i could copy and paste this entire blog along with the comments and post it to twitter. i have people personally (in my MOMMY group that was started by ME) that formula-bash to my face. what kind of joke is that?
i love your awareness of the situation and i wish that everyone could see past their blinders and understand that our children are GROWING and becoming wonderful, loving little ones no matter where they get their nutrition from.
retweeting this, thank you!
I just happened onto your blog tonight. Thanks for being a understanding breastfeeding mom! After giving birth to my son I discovered I had flat nipples which, really ruined my success at BF. The delivery was a shock and I was a crying zombie. And the lacatation lady took one look at my boobs and thought I had had a boob job! That is how I discovered it. I gave breastfeeding my best shot and pumping hurt like the devil and I couldn't get much milk.
Which are you going to choose as a new mom a screaming hungry baby you can't feed or a happy bottle feed one? Now with my daughter I still get judged. Everyone says, "Oh I thought there were ways to fix that". If only it were that simple! I chose this time to actually enjoy the time with my baby from the start instead of crying, dreading feeding time, and feeling like a failure. Yes with the proper knowledge prior to my son's birth maybe it could have been different. And that's a big ! But that's what happened and formula was a godsend:) Thanks so much for being understanding!!
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